Marriage: The Opposite of Diet
Kimberly Rae Miller

Worst. Study. Ever.

A study published in the July issue of Obesity (side note: who knew there was a magazine named “Obesity”) found that getting hitched causes one heck of a weight gain! Researchers tracked the weights of almost 7,000 people in various stages of coupledom and their findings were this: being single is way better for your waistline.

Within a couple of years of marriage the risk of obesity is double that of single folk. Double!

Well, there goes that dream of a diamond ring I’d been harboring since childhood.

If getting married is bad for you, well being coupled up but unwed isn’t much better.  Women who were cohabiting with a significant other for five or less years, had a 63% increased risk of obesity.  The risk doesn’t stop after five years though, the longer your time in coupledom ladies, the higher the rate of weight gained.

Okay, then, so no diamond ring, and not shared rent.

Men gained weight too, but they’re usually topped off after about two years.

I think if I’m ever going to have a reasonably healthy romantic relationship I’ve got to stop reading scientific studies. Or, I could join a convent and happily reside in my skinny jeans.  Sigh…